


It's the Side Effects That Save Us

by niltia



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Groundhog Day, M/M, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 12:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17642429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niltia/pseuds/niltia
Summary: Five times Paul experienced other people’s usage of a time crystal, because being a little unstuck from time has gotta be inconvenient sometimes.





	It's the Side Effects That Save Us

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Graceless by The National. The board game mentioned in this story is called Otrio and you should check it out.

1.

Paul woke up suddenly, unsure why. Hugh wasn’t up yet and the lights were off so it must still be the middle of their night shift. Maybe the ship had lurched a little? 

“Computer, time?” he asked quietly.

“It is oh-four-thirty-two hours.”

Still night then. Paul fell back asleep. 

-

Paul woke up suddenly. Still dark. Who was driving this thing? 

Whatever. 

\- 

Paul woke up suddenly. For fuck’s sake.

“Computer, what time is it?”

“It is oh-four-thirty-two hours.”

Still nighttime. He rolled over and tried to fall back asleep. 

-

Paul woke up suddenly. 

“Computer, time?” he asked groggily.

“It is oh-four-thirty-two hours.”

Still only four — wait. Nope. 

Paul sat up and shook Hugh awake. “It’s happening again.”

Hugh groaned. “Paul. What time is it?”

“We’re in a time loop again.”

Hugh scrubbed a hand over his face and sat up. “Computer, lights to twenty percent. What time is it?”

“It is oh-four-thirty-three hours,” the computer responded. 

“Thanks, computer. Paul, it’s the middle of the night. What’s wrong?”

“I think we’re in a time loop again.”

Hugh sighed. “Okay. How many —” 

-

Paul woke up suddenly. 

“Fuck.”

It must already be pretty near the end of the loop when he woke up every time, then. Paul didn’t bother waking Hugh this time, at least not until he knew more. He got out of bed and logged into his PADD to check the bridge feed and security feeds. Was there an intruder on the ship again?

Absorbed in checking the feeds, which were generally unremarkable, Paul didn’t notice how much time had passed until Hugh put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Paul? Your shift doesn’t start until 0900. How long have you been awake?”

Paul looked at the time on his PADD. It was 0618. Either the time loop had resolved itself somehow or he’d dreamed the whole thing. 

Hugh moved his hand to the back of Paul’s neck. “Are you okay?”

Paul shut off his PADD and looked up at Hugh. “I’m fine. I promise. Just a weird dream.”

 

2\. 

Paul had been increasingly suspicious over the last half hour that time was repeating again, but unfortunately during the first iteration he hadn’t exactly been paying attention to the clock so he couldn’t say for sure. All he knew was that one moment he’d been working on disassembling part of the drive control system when the ship had gone into yellow alert, and the next moment he’d been standing on the opposite side of the room, no yellow alert in force, the drive control system intact. At first he thought maybe he’d just lost time, which had been happening lately. But then he’d had the same conversations with the same people and now here it was again, the yellow alert. 

“Cadet Tilly, we’re in a time loop again,” Paul said.

Tilly looked up from her PADD, where she’d probably been checking the bridge feed to see what the yellow alert was about. “Oh shit, really?”

“Yes, really. I think we’re about to reset.” 

They both stood for a moment, waiting expectantly. Tilly glanced down at her PADD again.

The yellow alert stopped. “Uh, it looks like they’ve identified the unknown vessel. They were just having comms problems,” Tilly said.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Paul said. “We should have looped by now. It happened right after the alert. I could have sworn….”

“Lieutenant Stamets, I really think you should go to sickbay,” Tilly said.

“Fine,” Paul said, marching himself out of the room without another word. He didn’t doubt that Tilly would already be on the comms to sickbay, telling them he was on his way. 

Sure enough, Hugh was waiting for him at the door. “I hear you’re experiencing a time loop again?”

Paul hopped up onto one of the beds. “Loop, singular, yes. Things definitely reset once, but it didn’t repeat when I expected it to.”

Hugh made a noncommittal noise and grabbed a tricorder off the instrument tray. 

“Please, Hugh, you’ve got to believe me.” He grasped Hugh’s wrists before he could start scanning him. “I know I’ve been different lately. I know you think I’m having side effects from the drive or the genetic manipulation or both. But I’m — that’s not it. There was definitely a time loop,” Paul said.

“I believe you,” Hugh said, setting the tricorder down on the bed beside him. He put a hand on Paul’s cheek, making sure that Paul was looking him in the eyes. “I believe you, Paul. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you last time, even if I don’t remember it. I won’t make that mistake again.”

 

3.

“ — but that’s just how I feel about it,” Tilly said. She aggressively speared a cherry tomato with her fork. “What do you think, Keyla?”

“No, they’re definitely going for that,” Detmer said. “I read an interview with the writers where they said —”

This conversation sounded awfully familiar. Probably another time loop. It hadn’t ended well when he’d made a fuss over the last one, and nothing bad had come of it anyway. He’d wait it out and see if anything was actually wrong. He was pretty sure that this kept happening because unrelated people elsewhere were using time crystals to initiate loops and he just happened to be unfortunately aware throughout them.

Could be worse, Paul supposed. He was eating his favorite food, he was with people whose company he found tolerable, and they were discussing a serial show he didn’t particularly mind. 

\- 

Eighty-seven loops later, Paul now hated broccoli and if he ever heard Tilly or Detmer mention _Sanctuary Moon_ again he would not be held accountable for his response. 

 

4.

Paul fumbled his tray, spilling its contents onto the floor of the mess hall.

Everyone turned to stare at him. They’d been doing that a lot lately anyway. The nature of his relationship with Hugh hadn’t been widely-disseminated knowledge among the crew prior to Hugh’s death, but sure as hell everybody knew it now. 

He knelt down on the floor and started cleaning up the mess. His right knee ached, as it had ever since a lab accident when he was thirty. Spilled orange juice began soaking the knees of his trousers. Lieutenant Owosekun got up from her own lunch and helped him. She didn’t say anything to him, which he was grateful for. 

The pity people had treated him with ever since Hugh’s death was difficult enough to deal with. Worse were the surprised looks, the stares, the quickly-hushed conversation he’d overheard once where someone had said it was too bad Dr. Culber had had to put up with such an asshole just before he died. 

After the spill was cleaned up, Paul thanked Lieutenant Owosekun quietly and returned his tray to the recycler. He didn’t bother getting another. He spent the rest of his lunch break in their — his — quarters, not doing much of anything at all.

-

Paul fumbled his tray, spilling its contents onto the floor of the mess hall.

Time loop again. Or maybe just a persistent nightmare. At this point, really, what difference did it make?

He didn’t bother cleaning it up. He just walked right out of the room, avoiding making eye contact with anyone. It didn’t matter anyway. Who knew how many loops this would last.

-

Paul fumbled his tray, spilling its contents onto the floor of the mess hall.

Fuck this.

 

5.

Ever since his miraculous and highly classified return from the dead, Hugh and his eldest sister had been messaging each other as frequently as their respective positions allowed. Earlier this week, Cynthia had sent him a replicator pattern for a board game they’d apparently played obsessively as children. Hugh had printed it and told Paul he’d teach him how to play on their next joint day off. 

That day had arrived, and Hugh was less ‘teaching him how to play’ and more ‘kicking his ass.’

They were on their fourth game of the afternoon and Paul was only halfway through his first cup of tea. Hugh had beaten him in less than five moves for each of the first three games. “This is unfair,” Paul complained. “You’ve been playing this since you were a kid. Go easier on me.”

Hugh laughed. “It’s just three-dimensional tic-tac-toe, Paul, it’s not really possible for me to go easier on you.”

They were on move six now and Paul hadn’t lost yet. Maybe he’d actually win this time. 

Move seven. “So,” Paul asked, “since this is 3D tic-tac-toe and tic-tac-toe is a solved game. Is there a guaranteed win strategy for this game?” Paul hadn’t noticed a particular pattern to Hugh’s opening moves yet, but four games was a small sample size. 

“Ah, nice try, but I’m not telling you that,” Hugh said. “I wouldn’t put it past you to try looking up the proof paper. Assuming one even exists, of course. Just enjoy it for what it is.” 

Damn. Paul absolutely had been planning on looking up a solution the next time Hugh took a bathroom break. He couldn’t _now_ , of course, Hugh would have him figured out in two seconds. Paul couldn’t control his facial expressions to save his life. He’d made a tactical error in asking whether it was a solved game.

Moves seven, eight, and nine went by without a winner, and then they were out of pieces to play. A draw this time. At least he hadn’t lost again.

“A draw, finally!” Hugh said. “Only took you four games. I guess that’s not _that_ bad.”

“Excuse you, I was promised a fun and judgment-free learning environment.”

“I made no such promises,” Hugh said, and reset the game. The next four rounds also ended in a draw, with Paul no closer to figuring out a sure strategy. 

Paul stood up to get another cup of tea. He would have to — 

-

Paul was sitting down. There was a half-full cup of tea already in his left hand. 

The arrangement of the pieces currently on the board looked … familiar. 

Someone somewhere had initiated a time loop again, then. At least it was on his day off and he was here with Hugh. Nothing to do but enjoy it while it lasted. 

-

During the fifth loop, Paul had a sudden suspicion. “Excuse me,” he said, “I forgot I had to update Ensign Tilly on a new quality control protocol. I’ll be right back.”

Paul quickly grabbed his PADD and stepped out into the hall before Hugh could question him. Sure enough, his search of the intranet’s journal database turned up one solution paper in a mathematics journal, published in 2233, authors Culber, C. and Culber, H. Of course. Paul bookmarked it for later and stepped back inside. He _was_ having more fun figuring out the game on his own, Hugh was right.

Hugh narrowed his eyes at him. “You just looked up whether this is a solved game, didn’t you.”

“No!” Fuck, his face was definitely making an I’m-absolutely-lying expression right now. Damn. 

\- 

Paul had figured out exactly one element to a strategy, which was that putting the medium-sized piece in the middlemost space was the best opening move. Of course, every time Hugh realized he’d figured this out, he stopped letting Paul have the chance to go there. Apparently he _had_ been going easy on him. 

-

By the time the loops stopped repeating, Paul still hadn’t won a single game. He couldn’t say he particularly minded.


End file.
